A Year of Small Steps

How little things add up

It’s been a busy few weeks, so apologies for the radio silence. But between deadlines and work, something had to give. This fall alone, I’ve broken my toe and my windshield, so you get the picture…

Last February, I started a part-time, two day a week job. This is in addition to the other very part-time job I have, substituting as a piano accompanist for funerals. It’s been a switch, going from five days a week in the studio, but a good move. To be transparent, I strain less about finances. I’m not grinding my teeth worrying about a client paying on time because I know there’s a guaranteed income each month. And that lack of strain has actually improved my creativity. But it’s also required me to re-calibrate what a creative career looks like. So here’s a few things I have learned/am learning:

• Freelancing isn’t one-size fits all

  I left my full-time graphic design job back in the late 00’s. I had a year’s salary saved up and thought, “What could possibly go wrong?” Cue the great recession. I drew all the time, taking on any project that came my way and worked non-stop on my Etsy shop. Being in my 20’s (and able to get by on four hours of sleep) was a big help. I did okay, but in retrospect, wonder if this was the right path. At the back of my mind was the lie that anything less than 100% self-employment meant failure. And I regret that I bought into that mindset. I’ve known illustrators who kept demanding day jobs and illustrators who switched to completely different industries to bootstrap their creative endeavours. There isn’t a right or wrong way to do self-employment and I think that’s particularly important for newer illustrators to hear.

• Sometimes life requires an 11-Point Turn

  My Dad taught me how to drive. He’s a fourth generation New York City driver. He learned to drive from his father, who learned to drive on a delivery truck in Brooklyn. That’s the transportation tradition I come from. So when my Dad taught me how to do a three point turn, it often became a two point turn. “Like this!” he’d say, proceeding to make the turn in record time, with a minimum of backups. And that’s how I approach a lot in life. Got to change directions? Make it a two point turn!
  
  But sometimes, life takes an 11 point turn (with apologies to the television show "Psych,” and Gus’s driving skills).

  In juggling everything this year, sometimes it’s taken me an 11 point turn to get in the direction I need to be going. I don’t have an hour to work on something. I have maybe, 15 minutes free time. So I’ve worked on personal projects in spurts. Ten minutes here, 20 minutes there. To be honest, it can be frustrating when you’re in the zone, having to throttle your creative output. But all those random moments add up and eventually the work gets done. Not as quickly as I’d like, but it does happen.
  
  It’s like growing out a bad haircut. It takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r, but eventually it happens. Because of The Plague (iykyk) and stress, I lost a huge amount of hair last year. And let me tell you, the paltry half inch grown each month makes me want to buzz my head some days. But the growth adds up, even when I can’t seem to see it.
  
  But slowness is hard in the moment. Especially in terms of Social Media, there’s a tremendous pressure on creatives to be constantly on, making new content. And for most people, that’s absolutely untenable. No shade if that’s a motivator for you. I can completely understand how a public audience can help provide the impetus for producing work. But for me, it’s an unhealthy attitude I’ve been working on distancing myself from. So here’s to the 11 point turns.

• You remember what matters

  I remember reading an interview with violinist Andrew Bird years back. When it came to new compositions, he felt that if a tune was good, he’d remember. If a new song was worth pursuing, he wouldn’t forget the melody on waking the next day, it would stay with him. It was a means of separating the wheat from the chaff.
  
  With more time constraints this year, I’ve thought of that advice. I’ve gotten choosier with personal projects. That free download? It’s a fun idea! But if I have only an hour this week for a personal project, it’s going to go towards the thing that matters most to me in the moment: my picture book dummy.
  
  It isn’t that I don’t go rogue on occasion. There’s some days where I morph into Kermit the Frog, hands flailing above my head, and find I need to carve out ten minutes just to doodle and reset my brain, veering far off course from the day’s plan. But as a rule, I’ve had to get brutal about prioritization. Which has been tough, but necessary.

• Other things…

  I mentioned it a few posts back, but I started using a Monk Manual again this fall. I’ve had a few weeks where I’ve struggled to keep up, but the focus it puts on discerning priorities and analyzing outcomes has been huge. It’s tempting to make a list of fifty zillion things I want to do, but the Monk Manual has challenged me to be realistic about what I can accomplish and why.
  
  I’ve also been intentional about leisure. When there’s nothing on the docket, one of my favorite things to do Sundays is to crawl into bed with a book and a mug of cocoa. Sometimes I read, a lot of times I conk out. Years of go-go-go have left me burnt out and I’m trying to course correct.
  
  And if we think of this with a juggling analogy, do I keep all the balls in the air? Ha… Not by a long shot. But I do okay. And okay is good enough for this season in life. Sometimes it’s good to just get by.
  
  So, if you have tips for balancing life, I’m all ears!